Keeping up with the Neighbours

If someone else gets it, why shouldn't you?

Growing up you inevitably ask the question why others are getting more than you - it could be being picked for a team or new and exciting products. There's always a reason for it: Wealthy families, competition wins and as unlikely as it may seem - some people deserve those treats that the rest of us don't receive. As most do, I learned to accept this as I matured into adulthood. Yes it would be nice to have nice things, but the world simply can't function like that.

Those that think in this way, while you think would be in majority when entering the workplace, are in fact a dying breed. Why is this? How can so many people even think that they should have what others have, let alone voice this in the workplace? There have been many occassions I have heard the words 'Well if [insert name here] gets what they want, then I should get what I want!'

Imagine that, a whole world where everyone gets what they want...

Fundamentally I find it difficult to imagine, once you are aware of the realism of the world you start to unpick the logic of why it is the way it is and end up with multiple reasons why it couldn't possibly operate in that way. For every winner, there is also inevitably a loser either directly or indirectly. This is particularly the case in business and the work environment as the very nature of capitalism is to compete.

It's all too easy to take the path of least resistance and speak up about not getting something that someone else has e.g. a promotion, company car, salary increase etc. But if you don't try and keep up with the neighbours, and instead focus on what you are doing. Making sure that you are brought to peoples attention for the work you deliver or the results you achieve rather than complaining. If you can do that better than everybody else, then those people will be wanting the things you have, not the other way round

Because I Deserve It

A good job isn't owed to you

Sadly the most popular paradigm in modern life is that success is owed to you. This generation in particular have values which are narcissistic in nature. I'm sure there are a lot of speculative theories around this behaviour e.g. freely available credit, failure of the parents, our self obsessed culture etc. but rather than focus on the causes of this, I'm more concerned about the outcomes and how they affect you at work.

Regardless of the causes, let's look at the outcomes and what you have to deal with at work as a consequence. As let's face it, a lot of the theories behind our narcissistic culture cannot be corrected by you yourself so it's better to focus on what you can control.

There are many with this attitude in the workplace, some will have succeeded with this mentality while other will not have. The most important thing to remember when working with narcissists is to ignore them. It's far too easy to fall into the trap of appearing juvenile pointing out that others deserve nothing because of their complete ineptitude while you do the actual work. This approach will never lead to a satisfying conclusion.

Instead it is far more beneficial to yourself to focus on your own strengths and weaknesses. That way you can shout about your strengths and improve on your weaknesses, putting your time and energy to good use. This way you are not playing the same game as the others who think they deserve everything, you are actually working towards bettering your work which will likely get noticed by the right people.

Achieving a healthy mindset towards work is an achievement, it takes practice and effort. However once learnt it leads to a much more satisfying work life and the effects can be seen through your work and personality while at work. Plus this will really annoy anyone with a 'deservist' attitude as they will see you benefiting yourself and progressing at work while they increase their whining of why they deserve more. Who is the real winner in that scenario?

If everyone deserves everything, we'd all have nothing

Don't Work to Get Money

Work to be happy

We all need to work. Having a job and a purpose in life keeps us active both mentally and physically. Like it or not, as people we like structure and routine and there's nothing better than a full time job for both of these.

The problem it seems is the type of job we end up doing that for most is limited to a few options and career paths. When we are young we dream of all kinds of occupations in a whole range of fields, our options are limitless. However as we grow older these options start to reduce to more achievable requirements for job roles. Academic ability, skill sets, relocating, previous experience - these all add up to limit our options when looking for jobs.

What also seems to limit us is our own standards of living. Having a career already but deciding to make a career change could mean starting at the bottom of the ladder, usually resulting in a lower salary. Supporting families or paying off debt and bills may not allow for this, meaning the best option could be to stay in your current job if you are not willing to make some sacrifices.

Whatever the reason, for some work is the necessity to support our lifestyles which we may not be able to change with quick fixes. I'll speak more about goals in later chapters but for now let's look at this from a different perspective.

The way it should be is that you find something you're good at and you enjoy doing, this is very important. Given the choice would you rather spend 8 hours a day doing something you like to do or something you don't like to do?

Once you've found that skill you like doing and are willing to do day in and day out you need to become great at it. Learn everything you can about it, fully commit to it - that's how you become an expert. What comes with expertise? Financial rewards...

The modern world is built on expertise, at some point or another during the course of our daily lives we employ others to use their expertise rather than use our own. It could be anything from buying a coffee in the morning to boarding a plane, at some point someone else takes over so that you get what you want. If there is a demand for that expertise then you can use this to gain financial rewards, giving you extremely high job satisfaction.

It's a difficult concept to grasp, however if you can both understand and work towards this your working life will be a lot more enjoyable.

If you do what you enjoy the rewards will come

The Ugly Truth

Is it really that bad?

On the face of it, modern work is overbearing. The deadlines, the superiors, the necessity of it all - it can become too much at times. It's easy to become wrapped up in something that plays such a large part of your life and put work on a pedestal however it's important to take a step back once in a while to gain some perspective and ask the question "Is work really that bad?"

Work is terrifying! Or is it?

Remember when you were a child and knew your parents would find out when you did something wrong, "Oh no! My parents are going to kill me!". Think back to those feelings you experienced then, as if the world as you knew it would end...

Of course it didn't, but at the time it certainly felt as if it would. Seemingly the same happens in our adult lives, the difference between now and then is that we convince ourselves that our responsibilities now are more important than as a child. However if we were to analyse it our adult working lives have more in common with our childhoods than we might think.

In both our childhoods and working lives we build up both our parents and employers to be something they aren't. Yes both of these provide for us in different ways however there's no need to fear consequences or retribution, simply to acknowledge it in respect of those providers.

Building work up to be an evil entity benefits no one, it simply results in negative feelings towards the workplace causing a need to escape it. When it comes down to it, work isn't the be all and end all of our lives and it's good for us to realise that. If you make a mistake at work, it's generally not the end of the world but simply a learning curve to be overcome. It's difficult to condition ourselves not to put work on a pedestal, but with a bit of practice it's worth it for a happier working life.

Escaping Work

Living for the weekend

In recent years it seems the ideology of escaping work has become more and more prevalent. A strange phenomenon when you think about it. We spend our entire childhoods imagining what it would be like to have different jobs, we act them out in the form of play and ask questions as to what people do as jobs and if we can do those things when we get older. Yet when it comes to actually working we decide that we'd rather not be at work and instead procrastinate until the working day ends.

TGIF - an acronym all too familiar to workers

The question you should ask yourself is why exactly is it you want to escape work?

It's too easy to have a negative attitude towards work as a whole, narrow it down and write a list of specifics. Take an average working day and think through the days events, at what points in the day do you feel like not being at work? Think of the reasons behind feeling this way - it could be people, processes, procedures or general activities. Once you have your list, then you are ready to start addressing those obstacles.

Wouldn't you rather be somewhere you don't want to escape from?

Think about it this way, rather than escaping work why not look at it from another perspective - if you make some changes and enjoy work, you won't want to escape it. Like any change it's going to take time and it's doubtful that the changes you can make will end up making work like a holiday but it will benefit you and others around you if changes are made meaning you can tolerate work and even enjoy it.